Don, why not just throw the bodies in the trunk and leave 'em for awhile? That should keep 'em nice and preserved.
This is actually my second RWD car, my first RWD car was my first car, a 1989 Thunderbird, which I put in the ditch once in winter weather, although it wasn't nearly as scary as the experience I had last night with Stewie. I didn't have that Thunderbird all that long though, as I found out first-hand that a Crown Vic will take a side impact at 15MPH without a scratch, but a T-bird won't take a front impact at that same speed without putting the front bumper a little closer to the front tires.
I drove Stewie to work this morning, and he behaved, even in the snow... at low speeds, it doesn't seem any different than any other car in the slippery stuff.
By the way, D1sclaimer, where in Nebraska are you? I'm in O'Neill.